VEDA Day 20 ? Being a one income family?. | babybellykelli

Whenever I get video suggestions, I really like to respond to them in a timely manner. Yesterday Jessica E asked me to do a video on how my family manages me being a stay at home mom. So for VEDA Day 20 here is how we financially handle me staying at home, and the reasons why me staying at home was best for us.

Living on one income is scary. Especially when you?re not married to a millionaire. My husband makes an honest and decent living, but we are by no means rich, or well off. We get by. When J and I were talking about marriage and family before we married, me being a stay at home mom for the first year of our kids? lives was really important for me. I missed out on a lot working two jobs and sharing my daughter with her father as a teen, and I was not going to have that happen again if I were to have more children. My husband understood this and being raised by a stay at home mom himself, he was on board.

After we married we decided to start having kids right off the bat. We were confidant in our relationship and with my husband already being near his mid thirties, time was not on our side to wait a long time. We fell pregnant pretty quickly, but lost that pregnancy as some of you might know a few months later. We then decided it was for the best that we wait a year, enjoy each other, and save our monies so that we would be more comfortable when I stayed at home. Wy had a different plan for us. Soon after I fell pregnant with him (three weeks after my D&C) I left my job due to nausea, and fear after my last miscarriage. My one regret looking back is that we didn?t have enough time to save the money of two incomes.

Because Wy came so long after A, I of course didn?t have any baby stuff. Luckily showers were thrown for us, and we did have some money from me working to buy the things that we needed. To help our way of living I chose to cloth diaper, we cut back on our spending, and eating out became only for special occasions. We were able to live comfortably with just two kids even without A?s monthly child support that we could never rely on anyways, by making those changes. On top of cutting back on our spending we also sold my car that just sat in the drive way. There was no need to have two vehicles plus my husband?s company car, and my car was just depreciating in value by sitting there.

My intentions were to only stay at home for the first year with Wy. Soon after a year passed though we realized there was no way my daughter would be able to attend school, Wy go to daycare, plus me go to work on top of that. How would A get home? Who would watch her when she did? How much would two kids in day care, plus transportation cost? Again, me staying at home seemed the most ideal. My husband has this thing about his kids becoming latch key kids as well. He doesn?t want that for them while they are younger, so again, we made the decision for me to continue to be at home for them.

Since we made the commitment for me to be at home for another few years, and another child was still in my dreams, now seemed like the best time. Not only were we already used to NOT having any fun money, but the kids were young and ?more affordable so why not have another kid now? After figuring out if financially we could handle having three on one income, we of course got pregnant again. We already had all the large costly items, and we would figure out the smaller things as the pregnancy went by. To save even more money I put us on a meal plan of basic cheap and easy meals, we eat out even less, buy less things, buy used things, and I have lowered my standards on makeup, clothing, and accessories. Some of the best products and clothing I have are from cheaper brands anyways!

Starbucks is no longer in my ?daily routine, and when we DO need to go out we make sure to run at least two errands to save on gas. We have sold our Audi and bought a mini van, and we have found cheaper/free activities to do as a family. My parents raised four kids on a preacher?s salary and a part-time nurse?s income and we survived. Not only did we survive, but we learned the importance of money and what we had. There is nothing wrong with hand-me-downs, there is nothing wrong with generic, and those are things that I want my kids to realize now rather than later.

We can always have money later in life, but I won?t ever be able to get back the time with my kids when they are younger and vice versa. Even though we have had to make a lot of changes and sacrifices for me to stay at home, being available to my children and husband when they need me feels amazing. When the kids are older we will have nice things and nice vacations and they will appreciate them even more. I want my kids to have everything they want, but at the same time I don?t want my kids to want everything if that makes any sense.

I love my family, and even though at times not having more money is very stressful, I think it is well worth it for us. The one biggest thing that being a stay at home mom has done for me is changed my perspective on what?s really important and what really matters. For the longest time I compared myself to other mothers who had nice cars, name brand everything, and seemed to have it all. I looked down on myself for not having those things, or for not having a huge house, and it took me a long time to realize that it doesn?t matter. The more you compare yourself to others, the more unhappy you will be with yourself and what you have. You will always be left wanting. I am finally happy with myself, and I take pride in the things that I do have and the things that I will have, and I know my family will be better off for it.

-K

Source: http://babybellykelli.com/2012/08/20/veda-day-20-being-a-one-income-family/

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